Blessings and Evil, Now More Than Ever

I’m having trouble reconciling the warm, soft, sweet life our family has been blessed with against the horrendous pain the families in Connecticut have been handed.

This morning I woke inside the softest cocoon wrapped in my husband’s arms. Our fluffy cat purred and curled up in mine. My children slept safe and warm, lit by their Christmas trees in the corner of their rooms.

Even without knowing the evil that goes off in an uncontrolled rampage, I would be grateful. But, seeing mental illness/evil displayed in such an innocent place makes me sob with immeasurable sorrow even with our immeasurable blessings.

I grew up in the shadow of the Vietnam War, which was fought another world away. Still, it was a dark era.. Never, did it seem that the heart of darkness would be in our own, American world. But, here it moved: Columbine, New York City, Hurricane’s Katrina and Sandy, Movie Theater’s, shopping malls, post offices, and city streets. I’ve missed so many tragedies just in this short list.

Now, more than ever, treasuring the lives we have been blessed with, may be our only hope to continue on. And possibly the only hope to be able to recognize and stop the nature of evil among us. And maybe not.

The goodness that will rise out of this will also be immeasurable. Now, more than ever, I hope to hear every good, kind act and to find a way myself to somehow soften the blow of someone else’s horrendous pain.


I love Facebook. I love the immediate response from “friends” I forgot were alive and from those whose minds work in such creative, observant one sentence blasts (Jenny). People, in general, are so clever and inspiring. Facebook makes me love the human race. I also love being able to see what my children and their friends are up to.

There is such humor and pathos readily available, without the added responsibility of actually having to speak to another human being –  in person. The irony of Facebook. Contact without connection. When I was assigned to write a poem about pop culture I had trouble choosing between Lady Gaga (who I also love!) and Facebook. Facebook was just…more in my face. 🙂

I Won’t Call Her Because I Know She’s Planting Foxgloves

What a wonderful world.

Katie and John smile from a wave runner in the sparkling sun-lit blue water of Cabo.

Lindsey and Bruce wave from the deck of a Princess cruise ship sailing toward the sunset.

Madison made two varsity sports her freshman year.

It’s Suicide Awareness Day

and never too late,

or too early,

to be whoever you want to be.

Denise is planting foxgloves with little to no hope of ever seeing their bells blow in the wind.

Kerby likes

And Disneyland.

Laurie is afraid of the dark.

The towers that “we will never forget”

Of faces that were lost this day, 11 years ago in September

Sharing the smoky images might keep this horror from ever happening again.

The faces in Facebook

knowing everything about a distant face with no time spent face to face.

And my life makes less sense with every highlight reel I sit in the dark to watch,

Feeling less like a star and more like a burnt-out light.

But, my status looks good, so maybe I live in a wonderful world. Too.