Life, We’re In It Together

Last Saturday night about 9:45 the husband and I returned home from dinner at Bandera in Scottsdale (Go sometime! It’s fantastic) and had just settled down to see if the season premiere of SNL was streaming early. It wasn’t. But just as we cuddled up together and began a search for something that might make us laugh, our doorbell rang two times in rapid succession. Sounded like the way UPS rings the bell, I didn’t think the delivered so late, The Husband graciously went to answer the door. “Who is it?” I bellowed from deep in the couch when I didn’t hear anything at the door. “Nobody. Just a white car flooring it from the curb.” He replied as he handed me a dozen lavender roses. No card.

“They might be for you?” I asked not wanting to assume they were for me. He didn’t even acknowledge the question.

“This has to be Helen.” I said searching his face to see if was telling the truth about a car speeding away. He was.

I texted Helen immediately, “Thank you. They are beautiful. Is there a reason behind this beautiful act of kindness?”

Her reply, “You add value and beauty to the world; just wanted to remind you.

Unbelievable. WHO DOES THIS?? Secret acts of generosity and goodness. Her timing could not have been more perfect.

The past couple weeks of Washington shenanigans have been triggering for me. As a victim/survivor of the Golden State Killer, among other atrocities, I was led to comment on a couple of Facebook posts. Mostly to thank those who posted why they didn’t report their own assaults. Helen had seen one of these comments. She hadn’t even seen the twitter post that went a bit viral…She just instinctively knew I might be having a hard time. Helen had known nothing of my previous life as a child and college student. She stepped up and acted on her instinct.

Shopping at Target last Christmas I ran into Helen as I was looking at a pair of cute boots. A few days later, another ding dong ditch and a beautifully wrapped package with the same cute boots inside was resting on our front door mat. When my father decided to end his life, I wrote and gave part of his eulogy. My Dad was an interesting sort, so I shared it on one of my blogs. You can probably guess, about an hour after I shared it, our doorbell rang and there on the door mat rested every item I mentioned in the eulogy.

I am inspired once again to be like Helen and pass on this surprise act of kindness to someone else. I think it’s going to be to The Husband. He answered the door. And has had to live with a survivor. I owe him one.

Even with the things I have lived through, I still like men. I still get crushes. I still like to flirt. I trust most of them.

A message from one of my long standing crushes, Robert Redford:

“…I want to encourage you to dig deep for hope and civility right now — to try to make connections with people you disagree with, to be better than our politicians.

We don’t have to share the same motivations to want the same outcomes. Let’s focus on each other, and strengthening our communities, and reflecting on what’s happening. Let’s live in justice and respect and let others fight it out now to the bitter ends.

This is our country too. Every woman, man and child in it, our American future. We’ve got work to do.

We are in this world together. Is it possible to hang out side by side and bloom simultaneously? I think…maybe…? Your thoughts? I encourage you to try and find one way to be like Helen and reach out, unexpectedly, this week. Let me know below!


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Marti de Anguera
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Marti de Anguera

I want to be more like Helen. She’s an angel sent from heaven. I also love that article by Robert Redford. I saw that a few days ago and shared it on my FB page. So important in this day and age. ❤️❤️🌈🌈🌈